This Is Where You Belong

Fresh off of a friend trip to Santa Fe, NM, I am still processing the beauty and wisdom found in the desert. New Mexico's landscape is different than other desert climates I've visited, like Arizona. I was deeply saddened to see the intense drought and economic poverty of Northern New Mexico; I was also inspired and humbled by the natural beauty of the land and friendliness of it's people. My friend and I stayed at a lovely boutique hotel in Santa Fe, and ventured out around the surrounding area's. The local geological features are stunning- the red dirt clay is magical!

On our trip, we decided to do something fun and spontaneous as recommended by a local- a tarot card reading at an apothecary shop. I take these things with a grain of salt: I'm open to wisdom from it, but also don't take it as absolute truth. That being said, I felt both open and skeptical. I was on vacation though, so why not!

During the reading, several of the cards and their placement were surprisingly on point about me (including some of my not ideal character traits). I had posed a question to the "spirits" or to whom/whatever is out there- "Am I where I am supposed to be?" I asked it generally- not necessarily even about living in Seattle, but more about who I am: who I'm becoming and how I'm spending my time. The way the cards weaved together, and what it meant for me, got me emotional. I shared with her that I often hold back on expressing some of the truest parts of myself, and things I am most deeply passionate about, for fear of rejection or spinsterhood. Sometimes self-doubt creeps in and makes me question the path I'm on.

She encouraged me: "Don't be afraid to live differently." She intuited that fear is what holds me back from consistently allowing others, especially in dating, to see my true heart. And she was right- I hold back how passionate I am about my love for animals, wildlife, and animal welfare because I sense that most men see that passion as amounting to that of a "crazy cat lady" archetype. But life is too short to hold back out of fear. I keep learning this lesson, in different layers. I flew back to Seattle on Monday feeling a sense of confirmation that I am where I need to be right now. Who knows what the future holds ✨